Florida Joose

6 Jan

I went to Florida for a while. I went to a beach. I sat on a chair. I ate a bunch of food. I did all of this and more.


I am back in Portland now. Please enjoy this animatic Zach and Crystal made of some booty worms getting on some mushrooms. The dickwipe at the end is patent pending.


Enter the Butthole

8 Dec

We finished another animatic which introduces the main character, Ron Wartyhymen. It’s the classic tale of boy meets girl, boy has to shit, boy loses girl because his butthole is just too sensitive.


Progress in Progress

24 Nov

We are in the casting process! And the script is tighter than my first wife’s butthole. Just kidding, I’ve never been married. Zach Carter has joined on as a co-producer and Crystal Carter is doing some excellent artwork. Crystal made some sweet digital storyboards for one of the first scenes on the movie, and Zach and I put together an animatic for it. Look at this shit if you want:


Also, all the songs have been recorded in demo form as needed for shooting. All but one: Shit on Beau Nerjoos. However, any song with that title will probably write itself.

Zach, Jeff, and I went out to the woods to test out some of the equipment, and Zach put together an edit with the test footage. Notice Zach’s excellent ability to animate a bear mouth-fucking a fish. Yeah that’s right, I just wrote that sentence. Check it. It may be NSFW if your boss is against wieners and butts.

Putting Faces to Assholes

11 Oct

The incredibly gifted Crystal Carter has done some beautiful artwork displaying a few characters from the movie. Please enjoy.

Tests, Allies, and Enemies

4 Oct

Let me update you on the HAPS:

The script is a lot cleaner than it was four months ago. And by cleaner, I mean it flows a lot better, not cleaner as in fewer farts and dicks and such. If anything, there are more. And although I do have the script much tighter, I know it is not the shooting script. It’s at 71 pages, but since it has 13 (short) songs in it, I imagine it will be much longer than 71 minutes.

I think all the songs are written and eight of them have actually have been recorded. Here are the names of the songs in no specific order except chronologically:

Somewhere Outside my Butthole

So Fucking Sad

I’m Tripping on You

Teardrops on my Boner

My Name is Beau Nerjoos

Fuck, We got Tittie Maggots

When the World has got you down

Going up the Mountian

Breaking the Ten Commandments

What is the Color of my Hope

Hot on the Trail of Beau Nerjoos

Un Tiempo para Univero

And then there’s one more song, but I don’t want to give away the ending of this incredible pile of amazing. So… I’ve been spending lots of time in front of a giant computer writing and recording and editing and such.

I’ve also given copies of the present script to a few people and they’ve given me some pretty good feedback. None like, “Wow, this is an amazing script!” More like, “Well… this part sucks… and this part sucks… wow… you’re really fucked up.” That’s what good feedback is. I think.

So I’m going through the script and trying to dig out ways to have fewer scenes, because there are about 40 of them AND I AM NOT MADE OF MONEY(It’s merely a coincidence my penis resembles a half-roll of dimes)!!! I would like to do some test shots with the song Tripping on You this weekend to get a feeling for the look of the movie.

In other news, I have to move out of my house by the end of the month so I may be homeless, so if you see me on the streets of Portland, please give me a hand(y).

Coast Bones

3 Jun

Did some work on the coast this weekend. See?

I didn’t do nearly as much as I hoped I was going to. Did one run through and identified all the major plot holes and fixed a bunch of little crap. However, I did get the main song structure down for two of the early songs of the movie. They are:

Somewhere Outside my Butthole


It’s Raining Teardrops on my Boner

The brother of my friend, Zach, is working on a song called Teardrops on my Boner. Hopefully, he won’t be sue. If so, we’ll just let the lawyers sort it out.

First Draft Finished

1 Jun

The first draft is finished! It clocked in at 72 pages. Coincidentally, I’ve heard 72 is a favorite sexual position in western Canada. It is basically the same as 69, but involves three fingers. Here is some action from Act III:

Hope throws the fleshlight to Ron, he puts the dildo under his arm and pours the lube into the fleshlight.